How To Be A Reluctant

The title can be added with further implications: How to withdraw, how to abscond, how to shorn off, how to be undecided, how to let go, how to wait, how to dissipate and how to resist.
There are two sorts of people, people who are ever ready and people who hesitate, people who seek an opportunity to involve and people who barely try to be present. There are leavers and involvers. People who belong to the first group are called active, dynamic, strong, powerful, Flamboyant, passionate and etc. They are the visible people. People who belong to the second category are called lazy, inactive, and etc. They are the invisible people.
In the Religious circle, majority belongs to the first category. Only a fractional majority belongs to the second category. Most of the religious people are ever ready to assume power, they are reluctant only to exit from it. They do everything to cling to the golden threads of appropriation. Their crimes are the crimes of the decision. Those who assume power as if it’s their birthright will misuse their position. Their decisions will be decisions stained with nepotism and corruption. They will make division among people to perpetuate their power. As Simon Leys says, “Half of the misery in this world is caused by people whose only talent is to worm their way into positions for which they otherwise have no competence.”
I am not endorsing the second category but we need a third category who shall save us from the fallacies of decisions. Jesus is a proponent of the third category, the category of a reluctant doer. Jesus says, “What do you think? A man had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ The boy answered, ‘I will not.’ But later he had a change of heart and went. The father went to the other son and said the same thing. This boy answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
“The first,” they answered.
Jesus seems to know that hesitation is a mark of genuine willingness and readiness is a sign of deception. The one who said ‘yes’ is conscious of his option ‘no’. One who said ‘no’ is disturbed by the ‘yes’ he could not say. Every great invention was made by people who were reluctant , who were not sure of what they were doing. Einstein showed that light is made of packets: particles of light. Today we call these ‘photons’. He wrote, in the introduction to his article that explains his discovery:
” It seems to me that the observations associated with blackbody radiation, fluorescence, the production of cathode rays by ultraviolet light, and other related phenomena connected with the emission or transformation of light are more readily understood if one assumes that the energy of light is discontinuously distributed in space.”
Italian Physicist, Carlo Rovelli writes about reluctant sentence with which Einstein begins:
“These simple and clear lines are the real birth certificate of quantum theory. Note the wonderful initial ‘It seems to me …’, which recalls the ‘I think …’ with which Darwin introduces in his notebooks the great idea that species evolve, or the ‘hesitation’ spoken of by Faraday when introducing for the first time the revolutionary idea of magnetic fields. Genius hesitates.”
It’s true , Genius hesitates and fool hurries up. Remember the famous phrase, “devils rush in, where Angels fear to tread in.”

We are charmed by the capitalism of decisions. Decision uses digitisation method to differentiate one from another, effecting in all sorts of exploitations. Then why can’t we experiment with indecision? If decision means to “cut out”, indecision means to “don’t cut out.” Because indecision is an analogues event. Alexander R. Galloway observes, “as radical non-cutting, indecision integrates entities as one, and it does so at the level of the generic facticity of being. This holds for humanity, but also for the generic facticity that binds the human together with chimp, mouse, or microbe. Indecision binds humanity together with massively macro events like climate change, as well as micro events like the intimate mutual recognition of self with other, or the acts of mercy, love, and sacrifice ” So Indecision shares nothing with that kind of cowardice and corruption, the worst kind of lifelessness, barely concealing a contempt for the world and those living within it.
Tiqqun declares , “The more I’m anonymous , the more I am present.” All our efforts to promote ourselves to visibility will be tragically defeated by death. Trying to become present is political and trying to become anonymous is ethical. By becoming anonymous I am giving chance to someone to be present who could otherwise never be present .
To be present means to be monitored and fall under all sorts of surveillance. Tiqqun writes, ” from now on, to be perceived is to be defeated.” Galloway adds further prophesy, ” to be perceived is to be identified, and to be identified is to be removed from life.”
How can we defy the powerful and exploiting emperor? This is the question Hardt and Negri rise in their book, Emperor. They say by ”exodus and “desertion.” “Whereas in the disciplinary era sabotage was fundamental notion of resistance, in the era of imperial control it may be “desertion.” Is it a sort of escapism? Is it not allowing the emperor to flourish? According to Hardt and Negri in the biopolitical contest exodus is the form of class struggle, “this exodus doesn’t mean going elsewhere. we can pursue a line of flight while staying right here.”
Our existence should not be an insult to one who failed to exist. everything that could have existed, exist in a virtual world. Our presence can be a failure if we don’t respect their non-existence. A heavy existence, a presence that is an occupation will be erased without a trace. while a fleeing existence or nomadic presence will be preserved, new stories will be added to it, new beauties will be sprinkled on it.
Jesus embodies this hesitancy. He hesitated almost thirty years before his redemptive work. He was reluctant to do miracles though he did it. He was reluctant to die, more than death he loved life. Now he is reluctant to come back, we are waiting for centuries.
Hesitancy is genuineness.

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